(Broke) Athletes Offering Services

I just stumbled upon the greatest website ever created. Actually, second greatest behind this one.

Ladies and gentlemen, slackers who need a swift kick in the ass, I present to you AthletePromotions.com, a website where past and present sports figures offer their services to you – all for a very not-so small fee, of course.

Some athletes are in such financial doo-doo, they are willing to take your corporation to the next level by offering to “mingle with your best customers, clients, and employees” and act like they care as they run wind sprints straight to the bank.

If you Google the name Allen Iverson, the first thing the search engine will suggest is “Allen Iverson Broke,” so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he is one of the available speakers. Personally, I would love to hear his seminar on practice.

Other motivators on the AthletePromotions.com who are willing to offer their special services include:

Andrew Bynum – Quitting
AC Green – Abstinence
Andrei Kirilenko – Tattoo Crisis Management
Anthony Davis Jr. – Cosmetology
Antoine Walker – Bankruptcy
Arvydas Sabonis – Posterization
Charles Barkley – Nutrition
Craig Sager – Fashion
Brian Scalabrine – Life on the Bench
Greg Oden – How to take a proper crotch shot
Calvin Murphy – How to father 14 children by 9 different women

The short list compiled above was only for basketball, but you get the point.

Check out the site for your own gems and take your life to the next level.